She slows her stride and stops to listen, flip, flap, flip, flap, and sees the unexpected. Small squares of paper flip, and flap in the wind, pegged to the golden thread.
It’s funny how it starts, how you start to see. I try to remember, at first nothing comes, but I keep trying.
Its just one step, the next step. That’s the step that will move you forward, towards something and away from something else. You don’t have to know where you will end up, overthinking it will stop the natural flow of each next step. You just have to feel yourself being drawn to something, know that you are safe and take that step.
I needed a space that was all mine, so I made a place, and a piece of time.
To make my place I let things go, to make the space, to make it grow.
And before this space, was filled again, it would stretch and yawn and breathe and grin.
With almost nothing left she stood and looked, she stood at the edge of the lake gazing out, she could hear the wind meet the water and see that it had made a ripple. With everything she had, she jumped.
I now acknowledge my intent. Conscious or unconscious, my intent create's my reality.
I am at that point, reaching for something different, something unknown to me. I don't know how it will feel, or when I know I will have it, but I know I want it, and want to leave the rest behind.
I was bound, to those things I thought I was, to the things i accepted as true when i was too small to filter anything. I can see myself, wrapped up, a thread around me and around me and around me, as I follow a thread it begins to unravel, the more I look the more it unravels. When I reach the end I will find myself as I am, without all those things, I thought I should be...
The small rock sits in the sand...
Normally I avoided this space, you know the one, the space created when you are vulnerable, and maybe a little bit scared, to share yourself, the real you.
She said, “I have trouble communicating in relationships, I just shut my mouth”. I knew what she meant, I had just become aware of “my trouble” communicating in relationships too. She didn’t want to speak up, to speak for herself. A strong and capable woman, scared of what would happen, if she expressed her needs honestly.