Courage & Grace


It’s funny how it starts, how you start to see.  I try to remember, at first nothing comes, but I keep trying.

Memories come, maybe just one, I see myself, and I see that the reactions of others make me uncomfortable, how I was, and how they are. I know I am all, or nothing.

I don’t want that anymore, I try to look back at the past to find those moments, and see the way I am, willing to learn, I watch, a bit sad, but I keep watching.  I see a moment when I could have been different, a space, a choice, a line in the sand.  I want to find that space in the here and now, when I am going to be that again, I want to stop, then, I want to choose, choose to be different.  I want to know that I can change, change in an instant, and change over time, to be more the person I want in the future, no, in the here and now.  I want to see and feel that space, and find the courage to see myself, and the grace to be different.